Can you smell it in the air? It's pilot season!

For those who don't incessantly follow television timelines like me (nerd alert), the lifeline of a pilot television show is actually quite formulaic and interesting. It all begins when some mid-20s hipster college grad (who is from a fancy prestigious film school, no doubt, and therefore believes he is awesome) pens a script that end up being about 3% of what the pilot episode turns into.

Next, a producer hotshot comes across said script [not personally though. production assistants, aka the bottom of the food chain in television, read tons and tons of pitches for television shows. the producer hotshot, on the other hand, spends their valuable time reading one or two] and engages in a conversation with another tv biz hotshot that no doubt goes something like this:

Hotshot 1: Instead of this cop show taking place in Detroit..... it'll take place in MIAMI! Instead of cops.... the main characters are going to be dancers who also spotlight as models! Opening scene? BIKINIS! HOT GUYS! FANCY CARS!
Hotshot 2: I'll get (insert name of overrated yet outrageously popular actor here) on the phone!
Hotshot 1: Make sure to tell him he'll be paired alongside (insert name of over-sexed flavor of the week actress here)!
Hottest 2: It can be called (insert 2-3 worded title that sounds more like a bumper sticker slogan here)!
Hotshot 1: This is sure to be Fall's HOTTEST new drama!
Hotshot 2: Rich guy fist bump!

After this high in testosterone conversation comes to a close, each hotshot gets in their fancy convertible, making sure to stare at their reflection while exiting the parking lot, and begin to spread the word about this pilot to other producer hotshots.

Now, the next step in the birth of a pilot involves the actors. They don't get any more credit than the hotshots; they care about a one line synopsis of the show and the character they'll be playing, followed by the six-digit number they would be earning.

Once the actors have signed the dotted line and the bank accounts are flushed out so said actors have incentive to show up, the next step involves logistics. Television ain't cheap so any cost-effective method of production is used. It's a tricky balancing game because while the producers of the pilot want to create the best possible work so as to ensure a pick up by a network (i.e. Fox or ABC), they have to stay on budget as well as convince the network head honcho (a la Jeff Zucker at NBC) that their show is not a total money pit (lookin' at you, Lost).

These cost-effective methods include hiring the cheapest, yet talented, crew team. From grippers to directors of photography, pilots look for no-names who have yet to really hone the method of bargaining their worth the way actors do. Finally, after all preparations are complete, shooting takes place. Depending on the length of the show, shooting can take any where from 5 days to 14 days, each day racking in at least 15 hours on set.

After about a week and a half of shooting, pilots only get about a week to finish everything else. That includes: editing the pilot for a network honcho's viewing pleasuring, creating trailers and teasers, submitting storyboards or sample scripts for future episodes, including itemized budgets, etc.

The next couple of weeks are completely out of the hands of the creators of the pilot. The potential for a pilot to get picked up has to do with a lot of factors (i.e. actor chemistry, interesting plot, longevity etc) but what the network guys REALLY care about is that damn little thing that makes the world go round: money.

Tons and tons of meetings occur to discuss not only the pilot episodes they are reviewing but also, planning for the future of the network. It is the network dudes' jobs to understand their audience, therefore it is there job to understand what type of television show will be well received. Because if a show has potential to be well received, that means it is in their interest to funnel money and trust into this infant of a show, because it will lead to economic profitability for the network.

Of course this isn't the timeline for all pilots. For example, spin off shows from an already successful television producer (i.e. Norman Lear, Shondra Rimes, Joss Whedon etc) are handled differently. Similarly, reality television shows require less production planning. BUT all in all, when it comes to the life story of a pilot television show, most follow this model. And although very few are the lucky ones to be picked up (each network picks up 10-12 pilots each year), most of the journeys for pilot episodes end when the camera stops rolling. Even of those few that DO get picked up, the odds of renewal for a second season are very, very slim. Essentially, the key to creating a wonderful television show, with longevity and the support from a network, is to be in the right place, at the right time, with the right network. Other than that, most shows survive out of sheer dumb luck, an ideology that explains the hype behind shows such as Friends, The Office, and even a personal favorite, Glee.

Why You Need To Be Watching Breaking Bad

I don’t want to sound all high and mighty when I say this, because I’m no television expert, but I’ve watch enough shows to know when something is legendary. And that, my friends, is exactly what Breaking Bad is.

For those who don’t know, this outrageously underrated television show plays on Sunday nights at 10PM on AMC (aka the same channel that its more heard about counterpart – Mad Men – is on). The cast is relatively unheard of, besides Bryan Cranston who, prior to this role, was the dad on Malcolm in the Middle. Although he was on MITM for seven years, Breaking Bad will absolutely go down in history as Cranston’s best work ever; he has won not one but TWO Emmys for his role on this show.

The premise of the show deals with a high school chemistry teacher from New Mexico, Walter White (Cranston), who is the quintessential working man, struggling to make ends meet for his expectant wife and teenage son with cerebral palsy (played by real life CP victim and actor RJ Mitte). I realize that first sentence sounds like something out of a Lifetime movie, but stick with me! It gets good, I promise.

In the pilot episode, Walter learns he has stage three inoperable cancer. Rather than cope with this unbearable news with his family, Walter keeps it a secret and instead seeks out the help of one of his past students. Played by actor Aaron Paul, Jesse Pinkman is the twenty-something dropout who now makes a living by cooking and selling crystal meth. Walter approaches Jesse in hopes of joining the crystal meth forces, proclaiming: “You know the business. I know the chemistry.” It is this partnership that begins to produce the best crystal meth in New Mexico as well as some of the best comedic and dramatic moments on this television show in general.

Unlike nearly all other television shows (especially sitcoms) on the airwaves right now, Breaking Bad is a newly individualistic experience in that it always always ALWAYS puts artistic integrity before anything else. What I mean by this is simple: many television shows have the nasty habit to say fuck it! to continuity, relying instead on cheap laughs and stereotypical gimmicks. Basically crap that is an easy laugh but beyond that, do not produce much of a reaction (lookin’ at you, Two and A Half Men).

To make a long story short, Breaking Bad is 44 minutes of intense characters, beautiful imagery, and all around fantastic and wildly entertaining television.

Thanks to the creative genius that is Vince Gilligan, Breaking Bad is easily (in my opinion) the best show on television right now. Now in its third season, with two Emmys under its belt, Breaking Bad is becoming a television show that is sure to make history.

You can judge me for any of the other television shows that I watch and rave about (see entry below) but I dare you to watch the pilot of this show and NOT want to keep on watching. At least watch this trailer, that much you can do for me!

Glee - Laryngitis Recap

Ah yes, it’s nice to be home. After the first couple of episodes from the back nine seriously struggled to be that show that I fell in love with back in fall… Glee’s back.

Before tonight’s episode, the fourty four minutes of each Glee episode have been JAM PACKED with Will’s weird love life, Rachel Berry’s strange singing faces, Brittany’s one-liners, Finn’s inability to dance with both his arms and legs in coordination, and wildly over produced (yet crazy entertaining) musical numbers. In an attempt to take over the iTunes charts, Glee was swiftly becoming an outlet of musical performances, with a lacking amount of character development and story. This week’s episode the tables turned back to normalcy, and the story took the forefront with the musical numbers being weaved in appropriately for added bonus.

So let’s just dive in, shall we?

I have to say, I seriously love the Kurt/Burt relationship. Not ONLY do their names rhyme, but they are a breath of fresh air in that they step away from Glee’s tendency to be outrageously campy and portray a relationship that is seemingly realistic. Burt is easily one of the best dads on TV right now. Also, I can’t help but think that when writing this episode, Ryan Murphy (creator of the show) wrote this relationship as inspired by his experience of coming out to his parents in high school.

It was through this relationship, and the fantastic chemistry between actors Chris Colfer and Mike O’Malley, that we learn the moral of this week’s episode: “Don’t lose track of who you are just because it might be easier to be someone else.” Precious line from Mr. Schuster, but how he said that with a straight face is beyond me.

For Kurt, this “losing track of one’s self” manifested in his sexual orientation, something he accepted many episodes ago, but is still attempting to deal with when it comes to his father. It was this that introduced us to: John Mellencamp-lovin’, flannel-wearin’, and Brittany-kissin’ Straight Kurt. Although Straight Kurt gave it his best shot, in the end the nature of the character came through in the dramatic scene where Kurt is hurt (unintentionally) yet again by his father. It was this scene that showed Kurt’s self consciousness about his sexual orientation, a self consciousness that lead him to believe that he needed to change in order for his dad to accept him. All it took was the most fabulous rendition of Bette Midler’s “Rose’s Turn” for both parties of this relationship to realize that nothing defined their relationship other than the fact that they love each other. (All together now: awwww)

This theme of losing identity was evident not only in the Kurt/Burt relationship but in the Mercedes/Puck relationship as well, which by the way, is a paring I never would have expected. Prior to this episode, I was starting to worry that the thing I loved most about the character of Mercedes (obviously, her ferociousness) was beginning to fade away. It was only a mere fifteen or so episodes ago where Mercedes proclaimed: "Oh HALE NAH! I am Beyonce, I AIN'T no Kelly Rowland!" This attitude has been nowhere to be seen, especially with the recent move to air all of her self conscious tendencies (ie. her body image last episode, her need to be popular this episode). It seemed as if the character of Mercedes was losing her identity. Thankfully it was restored through the faux relationship with Puck that made her realize that her true identity lies in the less than popular participation in Glee Club, not the Cherrios.

Similarly, Puck learned his hair didn’t need to be the only thing that define him as Rachel the same with her voice. The last group number was U2’s “One” allowing the concept of individualism from this episode to come full circle.

I should have written a disclaimer when writing this blog entry that when it comes to writing, I can sometimes be like that man who doesn’t have the neuron to know when to stop and therefore never feels hungry and just eats everything in sight. In reality, I could write for days about a lot of the television shows I watch. And although I would love nothing more than to just write with no end in sight… I’ll try to wrap this up for those who do have social lives to get back to. (And by social lives I mean… procrastinating on Facebook. Let’s be real, people.)

FINAL NOTES!
- I usually cringe when Finn solos begin but his rendition of “Jessie’s Girl” was FANTASTIC! Whoever was the genius to name the character of Jesse St. James and thus allow this musical performance to be born, I applauded you. You, kind sir, are made of awesome.
- We finally learn where Quinn’s been living! I was feeling concerned but now that I know Puck’s mom won’t let her eat bacon, I’m feeling a little more reassured.
- Brittany-ism of the week: “Now I know what it’s like to date a baby!”
- Puck’s white boy dancing. Oh baby… you had me at “tramp” !
- Mercedes’ and Santana’s duet had me reminiscing like crazy. That song was my JAM in the eighth grade.
- NPH IS ON NEXT WEEK EPISODE! It’s going to be LEGEN – wait for it………..




DARY

And so it begins.

If you are just tuning in, this blog will remain mostly on television news, updates, as well as my opinion on recent episodes of the long list of shows I like to think of as: “My Study Material”. Giving my habit of spending hours watching the tube a name makes me a feel a little more secure inside, allowing me to hold onto the shred of hope that I am not a total loser. Because all of this television watching has a purpose. At least I try to tell myself that as I veg out on the couch day in and day out.

You see, I live in a place where pursuing a dream of mine to work in television production is seemingly impossible. And as much as it pains me to admit this fact: I cannot be serious with my goals unless I nut up and make the move to LA. Los Angeles is a place, in my opinion, where people’s souls go to die. (Pause for those from LA to roll their eyes). Every single fiber of my being is against moving to LA because I fear its toxicity will change my inner core. That is, every fiber except the largest component of what defines me. And that is to do something, anything, in the television industry.

The American Dream, to make a name for myself, etc etc. It sounds so cheesy on paper, and even worse in real life. I have yet to encounter a conversation in which the question: “So what do you want to do when you graduate?” and my response of working in TV is not followed by a nod of apprehension or confused glazed-over look. Yet still for some insane reason I have yet to validate, this is what I have wanted for as long as I can remember and most likely what I will yearn for until I make some sort of attempt that will hopefully end in some sort of success rather than its nasty cousin, and a least favorite of mine, sheer and embarrassing failure. If anything I need to fail just so I can say I did it, or at least, attempted.

Growing up, I thought it was a normal American experience to run home after school to catch the new episode of Sister, Sister, Teenage Mutant Turtles, and Growing Pains. I fell asleep in my dad’s lap watching, and not understanding, Star Trek. I dreamt of the day when I would be a contestant on Double Dare or Nickelodeon’s Super Toy Run (google it people - every child’s fantasy wrapped up in a reality television show). ‘Couch potato’ became a regular nickname from my mother, all endearment removed by the time I reached middle school.

What I know now is that I have always, in some way, felt a connection with everything that television is about. The film industry is the pretentious uncle of television, and I have never been able to rock that boat. Yet with TV, there has always been a feeling of familiarity. A sense of home, if you will. It is not a passion that I necessarily looked for, but more, it found me.

Do you remember that form of gibberish where you add ‘idig’ after every syllable? So dog would in turn be: didigog. It is still English, you can’t argue with that. Yet for those that understand it, the language becomes so much more. That’s what television is to me. Wow that sounds ridiculous, is that a completely terrible metaphor? Hah. Well, essentially, in the least pretentious way… I’ve always felt an understanding with the inner-workings of television as a language that other people do not pick up on. And there HAS to be a club or something that houses other people like me, right? Hi my name is Megan and I’m obsessed with everything television. Maybe a laboratory? A cosy test tube?

In the end, this blog is just one step in this crazy pipe dream of mine. Maybe I am naive, but if I have to chose between settling for a stupid desk job over trying and failing to make something of myself, I’m going for the latter. That much I have to do.